How To End The
MUNI Morass
Or
How
To Fix Bay Area Regional Transportation, Reduce
Air, Noise, And Sight Pollution, Create Sustainable
Infrastructure, Provide Quality Of Life Enhancement, And Practice Fiscal
Responsibility.
One crisp clear fall evening Way Back
In The Day, I drove a Chevelle Malibu SS from Berkeley to Reno
in what seemed like a half hour. Interstate 80 lay branny-new and wide-open
before me. I had achieved Toxic Equilibrium, Hendrix and The Stones were on the
radio, and it was pedal to the metal with a 4-barrel carburetor. I probably
averaged about 5 miles per gallon. Ahhh, those were the days, my friend. Those
days we thought would never end, but did. The age of the automobile is over. The “car”
is dead. Long live the car!
Americans
infantile obsession with the automobile borders on the pathological.
Automobiles receive more status, respect, care, and infrastructure than do most
human beings. Automobile technology is like, 150 years old, yet we still act as
if cars are a necessity. Believe me, they are not. In fact, they may be the
work of the Devil. OK, but they are a frivolous luxury enjoyed by a few, and
paid for by everyone. Individualized personal transportation is so
last millennium. I enjoyed my time of wretched excess, but my favorite
form of transportation today is the F-Market streetcars.
As are the poor excuses for vehicles MUNI
foists off on the public. I almost broke my coccyx on the 9-San Bruno the other
day, a vehicle with no discernable shocks, struts, or springs. That’s right, I
said “coccyx.”
In
order to turn San Francisco back into the livable city it was in the 50’s and
60’s, we have make the commitment that this is a walk-able, bike-able,
wheelchair friendly urban space, with plenty of NATIVE trees and places to sit
down, get water, and use the restroom. There are many obvious candidates for
pedestrian/bike only streets like the entire lengths of Market, Fillmore,
Haight, and Castro, and Van Ness (once Highway 101 is put underground somewhere
around Mt. San Bruno and emerges somewhere near the Presidio). This means we
have to remove as many cars from the City as possible, and the space they
currently occupy (mostly during the day) be put to better use, like oh I don’t
know, housing? Food gardens and edible landscaping? Open space restored to pre-European
conditions?
The purpose of mass transit is to
move people from one location to the other as safely, quickly, and efficiently
as possible. Public transportation was never intended to “make money,” or even
to “pay for itself.” Public services are benefits already paid for with taxes.
Whatever shortfall there is should be made up by those business entities that
profit from the public services they use to improve their bottom line. Free
Public Transit For All should be the rallying cry of any environmentalist,
leftist, socialist, communist, liberal, conservative, or anarchist.
This
is nowhere near being “One World.” And there certainly is no such entity as the
“United” States. And the differences between NorCal and The Southlands culture
remain irreconcilable. But there is only one Bay Area. Imagine all the municipal
and district transportation agencies coordinated to the point where one could
go online and plan a trip to Oakley or Occidental or Ocean Beach
quickly and easily. And by “one,” I mean “you.”
Adding a solar
powered light rail line from the Ferry Bldg. to Ocean
Beach along Geary Blvd., from Chrissy Field to Market
along Divisadero, and From Ft. Mason to the Cow Palace
down Van Ness/South Van Ness/Mission would be a logical next phase in planning
for a world with limited automobile presence. If the entire rail-bed is one big
solar collector, it should be able produce enough power to move trains along at
about 10 mph, which is plenty fast enough. Removing all overhead lines (except
for the F-line) would be another priority, as would extending the F-line
through Ft. Mason to Ft. Point.
Specialized
vehicles could be designed and built (in the Bay Area) to serve different
needs, like a nice, comfy Express bus that goes from one end of the City to the
other, making only about 10 stops. Another design would accommodate people with
numiferous shopping bags, luggage sets, backpacks, cellos, chickens, and goats.
Vehicles designed to accommodate wheelchairs, strollers, and bicycles would help
keep buses on their 15 minute/24/7 schedule.
On the regional
level, extending BART to Santa Rosa, San Rafael, Sacramento, and
San Jose would
take thousands of cars off the roads. A ferry service to Petaluma
and San Jose
would accommodate both locals and the Tourons. A sailing ship to Santa Cruz, Monterey, and
Points South would undoubtedly be popular, as would a dirigible to Tahoe,
Yosemite, Big Sur, Kings Canyon, Mendocino, Humboldt, and Mt. Shasta.
A corporation like oh say, Chevron Corp. could jump start the process by
kicking down a couple of billion in reparations for all the pollution it has
caused to the Bay, Delta, and Pacific Ocean over the last 100 years. The
alternative is that they face a suit for 1 trillion dollars in damages. Ditto
for the Toxic Techs of Silicon Valley. Pay for
damages and clean up current practices, or else get to steppin’. Go ahead, move
to China.
Someone will take your place in the Nicest
Place in the World. Maybe someone from…China.
VISA, Wells Fargo, Bank of America? Time to pay back some of
that bail-out money in a way that actually benefits the taxpayers. Oracle, Sun, Java, Hewlett-Packard, Apple,
Yahoo, Google, Netflix, EBay? What’s that? You say you already pay local taxes?
That’s nice. No really, it is. But we’re going to need a little more uh, civic
pride from you corporate slackers. You guys are so loaded with cash you can’t
invest or spend it on “innovation” fast enough. Less than 1% of your companies gross profits
would pay for an integrated regional transportation that would be the envy of
(and model for) the world. Besides, imagine a world in which your employees
have absolutely no excuse for being late to work.
Driving a vehicle in City traffic
requires all of ones attention. A bus operator free from playing
toll-collector/transfer-time-decider/policeman would be free to concentrate on
driving, which will reduce accidents. They may even have time to answer a
question from a Touron. A modern
automated public address system could announce transfer points and historic
sites. This is the 21st Century. We have spaceships and ray-guns.
And we can have comprehensive, clean, safe, punctual, convenient mass transit.
But for this or
anything else good to happen, we must demand that our leaders uh, lead. We have
to stop playing Party Politics and elect persons who actually know something
and also who know how to do things. We don’t need anymore lawyers in politics.
All they know how to do is argue. Engineers, farmers, doctors, history
professors, we need fresh perspectives. If
necessary, we must take Direct Action to make the changes, like sit-ins,
sleep-ins, die-ins, pie-in-the-face, strikes, moratoriums, tax-revolts.
The
People already have the Power, we simply must use it.
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